Step 1: don’t.
In any relationship or situationship I handle, it is always my priority to be brutally honest at all times. That’s just how I am. I think it makes things easier and clearer and it keeps people from being misled and confused.
The best way to do this from the start of any “thing” is to be honest about what you want-especially if you don’t want anything.
Situation: I was talking to this guy for like a week before I became disinterested. Nothing against him, he just wasn’t my type. So I just kind of stopped responding. I know, kind of goes against my point, but you would think he’d take a hint.
No. No hints. He texted me 10 times over the span of 3 weeks with no reply. Here’s the part where I explain why I should’ve taken my own advice and why honesty is best. If I, the woman in this heterosexual situation, had texted him that often with no response, I have no doubt in my mind I would’ve gotten a little crazy and angry and to his friends I would be the “crazy stalker girl.”
Like thanks to this patriarchal society, women are always the crazy ones if they are simply interested in a guy and not willing to give up. The last guy who stopped talking to me, I think I texted him twice before I assumed he was filing a restraining order against me. It’s ridiculous. But men can text girls nonstop for weeks and we just accept it as normal or desperate, but normal.
Listen up ladies (or others caught in this mindset): you’re not crazy. Whether you’re the texter, or the texter, you’re not crazy. You just need to be honest. Textee: if you don’t want to get texts from this person anymore, say so. That’s what I ended up doing with this situation. I straight up said: “I’m not interested.” And he left me alone. May that have hurt his pride? Maybe. Is that my problem? No. I don’t owe him anything. Texters: if you really think this person shouldn’t be ignoring you, say so. There’s no harm in saying “Look, I think we had a good connection, and forgive me if I misread that, but I would like to hear from you IF you are interested. If not, I will leave you alone.” That’s it. If they don’t respond, let it go. If they do respond and they’re not interested, let it go. You can’t control people, but you can control how you handle these situations and how they play out if you just make things clear.
The world needs a little more honesty.
Xoxo,
Kam